" If we are to search for

 real light and eternal certainties,

 we have to pray as the ancients prayed.

 We are women now, not children

 and we are expected to

 pray with maturity.

 The words most often used to

 describe urgent, prayerful labor

 are wrestle, plead, cry and hunger.

 In some sense, prayer me be

 the hardest work we ever will

 engage in, and perhaps

 it should be."

-Patricia Holland

Character Building

Have you ever felt so discouraged?

I went to church today feeling so down hearted and weak. 

It just felt like everyone around me was happy. I just thought to myself, why am I feeling

like this? I feel like I am never going to be good enough and I am just weak and am tempted all the time. Why can't I be strong enough to just do the little things?

I just sat on the bench in sacrament meeting and quietly said a prayer asking for love and encouragement. Little did I know the answer to my prayer would come in Relief Society.

The lesson was on overcoming weakness.  

"And if men come unto me I will show

 unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness

 that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient

 for all men that humble themselves before me;

 for if they humble themselves before me,

 and have faith in me, then will I make weak

 things become strong unto them."   

-Either 12: 27

The teacher had us think of our faults and weaknesses. She explained the steps to making weak things strong, which were...

1. In order for our weaknesses to be made strong we need to give them up to the lord and feel his love.

2. I need to stop letting Satan beat me up! He doesn't want me to be happy or powerful.

3. I need to be humble enough to see and accept my faults.

4. We need to ask Heavenly Father to search our hearts for good and light.

5. I need to remember that everyone has weakness and that it is part of heavenly fathers plan in making me great like a queen. It is part of his great "Character Building" as he molds and shapes us into the best versions of ourselves.

6. I needed to ask ourselves if by holding on to my weaknesses and faults, was I progressing?

"Become what you want to

 be by consistently being

 what you want to become."

Through that lesson I felt so much relief in knowing that heavenly father loved me and this was all part of his plan. I need to learn to hand him my weaknesses and faults through faith. I need to trust him, and may he make me humble in doing so.

Overlooked Blessing

Today I did one of my favorite shampoo

ladies hair (Marilyn). She sat and told me all about

her husbands conversion and their story.

I have been doing her hair forever, but I think

it was an answer to my prayers for her to 

not tell me until now. 

Her and I sat and cried our eyes out as she expressed

great love and appreciation for her husband

and the spiritual experiences they were

able to have together.

I immediately was reminded of the sweet memory

of Zane's baptism. I didn't take it for granted...

but I didn't exactly realize the blessing I was being given.

Zane and I have been through a lot together.

SO today I am writing of my love and appreciation

for Zane and his willingness to change.

I am so grateful that Heavenly Father knew what I needed

and sent me Zane. He knew I needed

to learn to appreciate and understand repentance,

missionary work, and baptism.

I am so blessed to date a good boy who holds the priesthood,

and fulfills his church duties. 

Don't overlook the blessings you have! Heavenly Father is mindful and watches out for all of us. He knows what we need and how to bless us in a way that we will understand and appreciate it. I am so grateful everything he has given me.